TAKING HARD DECISIONS

Just recently, in the last two sessions of SPL, I added to the curriculum, amongst other things, a session where I teach my students about the necessity of firing people. Okay, I know I am bad. That is not news, but can we just please pretend that I am good? Thanks. And not just about firing people, but also how to fire good people; people who are really putting in their best but their internal bandwidth is not just big enough. Okay, now we know I am really bad! But please, let’s get over that.In this life you must learn to take hard decisions.

One of the most common mistakes among Christians today is trying to play God. You are not God. You have never been, you are not, and you will never be. So, please, don’t try and hijack God’s job description. God has not called any one man on earth today to save the rest of the world. He sent Peter to the Jews and Paul to the Gentiles. So, let’s stop this fuss about trying to save the rest of the world.

Because you are concerned about one person, you condone all manner of nonsenses from that person and you start playing God. And before you know it, you become ineffective in reaching out to the many others who you should have reached out to. Some now go to the extent of employing diplomatic measures to salvage a relationship that was never meant to be by avoiding the cancerous tissue that is staring at them in the face. The lump you don’t deal with today will become the cancer that will kill you tomorrow. It’s just a matter of time.

I really believe in training people, watch them grow, see them make mistakes, and bounce back. I believe in giving people time because some other people did the same for me. But, believe me, not everyone wants to grow. And doctors will tell you, when it gets to a point where they have to choose between the life of the mother or the life of the baby, the mother comes first. And that is my stance. David Cho said, “If I cannot cast away the demon, I will cast the man and the demon away.”

You need to know that you are the CEO of your life. And your top two job descriptions are to hire and to fire. If you say you are so filled with the Holy Spirit and therefore you will not fire anybody, your patience is everlasting, your organization, which in this case is your life and others God has blessed you with, will crumble before your very eyes. You will end up losing everything. Don’t play God. He never sent you to save the rest of the world.

Be careful who you let into your boat. Sometimes the reason your boat is sinking could just be because of someone in your boat. If you are able to identify that person, don’t be afraid to throw him into the sea. God may just have a fish waiting for him. But if you let him remain in your boat, you, your crew, and your boat may sink while that person may still be saved. God was ready to sink a ship, killing everybody in it and still save Jonah.

Trees shed their leaves, Bears hibernate, Reptiles change their skins. All these are for us to learn from. If you want to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, then you have made yourself El Shaddai and you shall soon die. You will split heaven’s gate wide open but when the books are open and you see all that God destined for you that you never accomplished you will weep, then God shall wipe away your tears. (Rev 7:17)

The process of pruning is not easy but it is a necessary step. Some branches just don’t produce fruits. Period. Why keep that branch with you? Even in the corporate world, occasionally, organizations collapse entire departments when the departments no longer contribute to the overall objective of the organization. That is where outsourcing came from. Some organizations have to downsize and cut down on the salaries of those who scale through for the organization to scale through some tough times. If you cannot brace yourself up to take some tough decisions earth has no place for you.

I know many people think I am too tough. Some say I am too serious. So, when someone is chatting with me and see me use ROTFL, LOL, and other laugh chats, they are surprised. But truth is, I enjoy life just like, if not much more than most people. I have many editions of Night of a Thousand Laughs, I listen to Tuface, P-Square, Bracket, etc. I visit the cinema for movies. But I am a well trained person; trained by the best. And I have developed myself to the point where I know the line where emotion stops and reality kicks in.

Life is a complex machine, but the principles by which it operates are very easy.  Once you align yourself with the principles, everything becomes easy. The problem is that these principles have no respect for emotions, tribes, religions, creed, or skin colour. These principles have no boundaries. If you practice them, they will work for you. If you break them, they will break you. That is why four times every year: January, April, July and October, I devote the whole month teaching people these principles from a biblical perspective at the School for Personal Leadership.

The one whom Jesus loves,

Mute Efe,

THE PAIN OF PLEASURE

 What I want to share with us today is about the pain of pleasure. We live in a world today where we are literally killing ourselves with pleasure. We are dying everyday, not out of pain as we define it, but out of pleasure. And nobody seems to be saying anything about it. We are amusing ourselves to death and nobody really cares. Stella Damascus, the Nollywood actress, shared in her column in PM News about how a friend of hers was mad at her because when her(the friend’s) kids wanted to watch TV the only channel that the decoder was locked on Nickelodeon and the kids wanted one of the “more interesting” channels like Ben Ten where some real violence take place.

Today, entire families sit in front of the television box and are ingesting pleasure capsules hour after hour not realizing that they are dying. May I suggest to you that just like any other thing in this life, pleasure can be addictive? And the addictive nature of pleasure brings about negative repercussions. I don’t have to be a genius to know that unless urgent measures are taken to fight this addiction we are going to keep seeing an increase in divorce rates as families become mere acquaintances of one another. And an increase in divorce rates will lead to an increase in fatherless and motherless homes, which leads to half-prepared children sent out to face the pressure of society, which leads to these kids growing up to be men and women who are not responsible enough to be fathers and mothers themselves but have the tools between their legs to make them have babies. So, when they have kids they abandon them. They never knew what it is like to have a father or a mother so they have no idea how to be one, themselves.

Besides the long term effect of the addictive nature of pleasure like just narrated in the preceding paragraph. I also see that one of the more immediate effects of the pain of pleasure is the reluctance to learn. I see a dearth of knowledge all around. All that is on the minds of recent graduates now is how he or she can get his or her own Blackberry. I hear the cost of a new Blackberry today begins at N20,000 ($130). I even hear that the cost of some go for as high as over N100,000 ($660). Is that true? And when I turn to have a decent conversation with one of these young and beautiful ladies brandishing their Blackberrys all around, I get the shock of my life that all there is is a Brazilian hair and an empty brain. Except for the well developed part of the brain used in pinging.

I and a friend in Benin run what is commonly called a Business Center. Nothing much, just a few copiers, about 10 computers, 2 printers, a scanner, two good digital cameras for passport photographs, etc. You get the drift. He manages the day to day running of the business, since I reside in Lagos. But once a year I go to Benin and spend a couple of weeks there. And whenever I am in Benin, I usually spend some time with him at the shop. In my last but one visit to Benin, I was at the shop with him when a beautiful young lady in her NYSC Khaki pants came in. She needed to work on her CV. The two employees we have working for us are just Senior School Certificate holders, so we just pointed to one of the computer systems for her to use by herself. To my utter disdain she knew nothing about Microsoft Word. Maybe she is only used to Excel, but I doubt that too. It was one of our employees that ended up working on the CV for her. But she had in her hands one of the higher classes of Blackberry. Of course the lower classes are for guys.

I worship in a church where there are over 20,000 regular members. My church seats over 5,000 people per service and holds 4 services every Sunday. And this number does not include children who have a different building. It’s one of the new generation churches. Once in a while corporate trainings are held so members can develop themselves. These trainings are not free but very cheap. As low as N7,000. There was even one that was for N2,500, but the training materials was like N5,000 which was optional. One would expect that for a new generation church where everything from religion to business is being taught there will be a mad rush for such trainings. You will be surprised to know that for some of these trainings only 700 people participate out of over 20,000 members. And these are trainings that go for as high as N100,000 in the corporate world. But why should I spend N5,000 for a training when I can get some good time with my babe in a fast food restaurant with some cups of ice cream?

I advice the young ladies, I am focusing on you because you are at the frontline of the receiving end of the ills of the society. I advice the young ladies, there is more to life than “my boyfriend dresses well and smells good. Hmm! I am so in love with him.” It’s high time you started asking the right questions. How much of his budget does he invest on Personal Development? How many books did he buy in the last six months? How many has he read? What did he learn? When was the last time he spent his own money, not the company’s, to attend a training session for himself. You need to have an answer for these questions because perfumes never made any marriage work. Any marriage where the woman has a flare for personal development and the man does not, can never be a happy one. Just listen to one episode of Real Life issues aired on Inspiration FM 92.3 in Lagos if you doubt me.

If you, referring to the young ladies, would follow through on the advice given on the previous paragraph, I promise you, many of you will be shocked to discover that that guy you’ve been kissing for more than a year now, has not bought a single book in the last one year. That means all he knows now is still the same things he knew like 3 or 5 yrs ago. Except maybe that Jonathan did not have any shoes. I have met guys who never bought a book in the last 5yrs but never failed to renew their DSTV subscription. And when you are the type that wants to spend your Saturdays attending seminars and your husband sits at home to watch football, then trouble is brewing. Why not nip it in the bud now? It may hurt but you will be saving yourself a lifetime of pain.

From my personal projections based on the number of people that have enrolled for the April session of School for Personal Leadership, for the first time in three sessions ladies will outnumber guys by a long pole. And this is a trend that is beginning to show all over the world, especially among the black race. In the United States today, the ratio of educated black girls to guys in the corporate world is about 3:1. There are not enough good guys to go around anymore so sex is now being used as a weapon to keep the few good black guys. The crave for pleasure in the Rap industry is causing a lot of young black brothers to drop out of schools while those ladies in bra and G-strings dancing in the music videos are attending night classes to further their education.

Am I going to continue to see this kind of trend in the School for Personal Leadership that current projection is indicating? More ladies interested in Personal Development than guys? Are guys only interested in buying Blackberrys for the ladies so they can at least get some sex in exchange for it? But I want us all to have a rethink. The problem with the world today is not just pain as we know it. It is pleasure. The pain of pleasure is far worse than any other kind of pain you can think of.

I want to encourage you. If you are the type that has never seen the need to invest in Personal Development, begin with School for Personal Leadership. It holds right on Facebook, completely flexible, you go into the online classroom when it is most convenient for you. You get to meet people from different fields, different states of the nation, and residing in different countries. It is awesome. 

Thanks,

Mute Efe
www.facebook.com/mutehimself

REASONS WHY BLACKS ARE BEAUTIFUL.

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant r

eturned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class." Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

Blacks are Beautifullllllllllllllllllll!!!

The DAYO Story: Creating Memorable Moments With Our Partner.

 

The DAYO Story.

WOW!!! I came across this lovely piece recently online and i wish to share this story with you!

The DAYO Story

WOW!!! I just had to share this story! CONTINUE.....

My name is Dayo. I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say its unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe its because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when its ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”

“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him

Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said

They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!

“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.

I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my Ipad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Dayo”

“Maybe I’m different”

“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughed

She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Dear reader,

I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for you both-No friends or kids allowed.

Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so darn hot? Guy! When last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Do you even have a clue on what your partner loves to do?

When you ignore little things, they are the little pieces of rocks that build up to become a mountain you can’t easily break down.

Pay attention to little things, believe that they work and experience new bliss!

Yours Truly,

Dayo.